When and how to potty train your child

23 Jun

Across the globe, parents tackle toilet training using a range of approaches and start their child at various ages. There is no single method of potty training that has been proven to be more effective than others and no specific age that makes it easiest. If someone claims they know a particularly effective method or a best age to start, what that probably means is that it worked really well for their child(ren) in their family or for people they know. Although it can be daunting to have so much choice about when and how to potty train your child, what this really means is that you get to choose the best time for your family and your preferred approach.

Choosing the best time for your family:

First, you are looking for an upcoming period of stability (as far as you can predict!) – if there’s about to be a change in your childcare arrangements, you’re about to move house, go on holiday or there’s a new baby on the way, it’s probably not the best time to start teaching your child to use the potty. Learning to use the potty is a big change for a child so it’s good if you can create a feeling of safety for them by keeping as many other aspects of their life consistent in this period.

If you are looking for signs of readiness in your child, these are likely to appear between 18 months and 3 years. The first ones are likely to be:

An ability to communicate, verbally or otherwise
The physical ability to sit down on a potty independently
An awareness of having done a poo (this awareness may manifest as a child making an announcement, answering in the affirmative if you ask them or simply running away if you suggest changing their nappy!)
An awareness that they are about to poo – they may tell you or move to somewhere which they feel offers some privacy
An interest in the process of toileting – they may be fascinated by the flush or curious when a parent or sibling uses the toilet

The more child-led methods of potty-training will depend on more signs of readiness than this list. Whichever method you choose, once your child is showing these initial signs, it can help to get your child ready for potty-training:

Talk about wees and poos
Let them see you use the toilet
Involve them in the preparation - buy a potty and underwear together
Introduce role play activities around toileting, such as putting a doll or teddy on the potty
Read some picture books together about toileting
Wash your hands together after each nappy change

You – or whoever the main caregiver is – needs to feel ready to start the process. Although some children learn quickly and easily, potty training a child is often either time-consuming, frustrating or both. Yet every method depends on being able to remain positive and providing lots of encouragement.

Choosing the best method for your family

We always recommend starting your research with ERIC, the Children’s Bowel and Bladder Charity and their guide to potty training. Their website is also a fantastic resource to come back to if you have any toileting concerns about your child or regressions further down the line.

Beyond this guide, there are specific methods that suit different families. Here are three of them:

Jamie Glowacki’s book, ‘Oh Crap! Potty Training’, has a 6-step plan to help you toilet train your preschooler quickly and successfully. It focuses on children mastering each stage before moving onto the next one, so the length of time it can take will vary.
Becky Mansfield’s book, ‘Potty train in a weekend’, shares an approach which aims to do exactly that. It may be a good choice for those who have 3 days where they can clear their schedules and focus entirely on potty training. It is also more likely to be successful with a younger toddler so if you are keen to get going and want a simple method to follow, it is worth a read.
There are many advocates of a fully child-led approach. Janet Lansbury makes a good case for it here. This is a good choice if you’ve already tried a parent-led potty training method and stopped it because your child was very resistant (or if you suspect your child would be resistant without having tried it!) or simply because it resonates with your approach to parenting.

Children with additional needs

This is an excellent resource to support children with additional needs or disabilities, who may find it more challenging to learn to use the potty or toilet: ERIC’s guide for children with additional needs.

Being dry at night

Being dry at night is usually the last stage of toilet training and is not something that can be taught. At some point by the age of five, most children will wake up with a dry nappy most mornings and this is the key sign you are looking for to show that they are ready to lose their nappies at night. To support your child to reach this milestone, it is helpful to restrict liquid intake for the hour before bedtime and incorporate using the potty or toilet towards the end of your child’s bedtime routine.

More information: We always recommend starting with ERIC, the Children’s Bowel and Bladder Charity. They provide clinically correct information and digital resources on potty training, bowel problems including constipation, daytime bladder problems and bedwetting.

More support: If your child will be attending Two Hands Preschool, we’d be happy to work with you on potty training and if your child has a toileting regression, we can handle it together. You’ll be able to talk to us at drop off or pick up, or get in touch to arrange a chat. We can support you by following your lead or if you prefer, we can take a lead on potty training, providing advice about when your child is ready and how to approach it.

How we wrote this article: The information in this blog is based on the expert advice found in trusted sources, such as the National Health Service website. The content on this page should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult medical professionals for full diagnosis and treatment.