9 mealtime phrases to avoid with your kids at the dinner table
Contributing article by Laura Matthews, a registered nutritionist, food consultant and early years nutrition expert.
Do you struggle with feeding your kids at mealtimes? Unsure if they’ll dive into what’s on the plate? Say goodbye to mealtime stress. In this article, Laura Matthews, a Registered Nutritionist, food consultant and early years nutrition expert, reveals the mealtime rules and phrases to avoid and the tips to creating a smoother mealtime experience.
When mealtime hasn’t gone as planned, we’ve all found ourselves hurling these phrases across the dining table at our children. I’ve included lots of tips and strategies here to establish or restore calm, relaxed mealtimes.
1. “You can’t get down from the table until you’ve cleared your plate”
This mealtime rule overrides the child’s satiety level by encouraging them to ignore their body and any signs that they’ve had enough. Ultimately it may lead to an unhealthy relationship with food too. You also don’t want to start negotiating with little ones over eating a set number of mouthfuls. It will make both you and them dread mealtimes.
2. “Just try it once”
Applying pressure and begging our children to try new foods can create further resistance; it's best to encourage but not force.
At home, try the family dining approach whereby you lay out the foods available on the table. This method is where you bring pots, pans and bowls of food to the table and give children the chance to choose what they put on their plate, by helping themselves using spoons, tongs, etc (younger children will need some extra supervision). In time, they might surprise you and try a food you thought they’d never accept! Offering a variety of foods is key and making sure to include 1-2 more readily accepted foods too.
3. “If you eat your dinner, you can have pudding”
This mealtime rule uses dessert as a reward for finishing a meal, which can create unhealthy food associations. It also places pudding on a pedestal whereby you have to ‘wade’ through your main meal to reach the delicious pudding on the other side.
There are ways to tackle this. Try offering pudding at the same time as the main, this might look like some fruit on their plate alongside their meal. Or try following the family dining approach I mentioned above and offering pudding at the same time. I’ll never forget one Easter when my son filled up his mini hollow chocolate egg with sweetcorn at mealtime. It sounds gross, but it’s a great example of an intuitive eater!
4. “Eat your greens!”
Don’t make green veggies the enemy! Some green vegetables can have a bitter taste and need to be tried often to learn to love them! Offer them regularly, be a role model and allow your children to see you eating and enjoying them on your plate.
Also, try exploring different cooking methods. Nobody wants to eat boiled broccoli that’s been cooked too long. But lightly steamed and coated in a dressing makes broccoli much more appealing.
5. “You should eat [insert food] to make you big, strong and healthy”
Pressure to eat for physical appearance can create an unhealthy focus on body image.
Avoid emphasizing the nutritional benefits of food served at the table. Instead, talk around the events of the day rather than focusing heavily on the food as a conversation starter!
6. “You’re eating too much/too little”
Making comments on a child’s portion size can create anxiety about their food intake and may have the unintended effect of refusing food completely.
As a parent or caregiver, it’s our role to decide what, when and where our children eat. Let them do their job to decide whether they eat and how much. Don’t forget little one's appetite can fluctuate for a variety of reasons such as illness, teething and tiredness.
7. “You liked this food yesterday/last week/last month”.
There are so many factors involved in the decision-making process when choosing and eating food. Children’s taste preferences can change, and their reactions to certain foods may vary.
It’s more helpful to allow children to express their preferences without feeling pressured or judged. Instead, offer in a less coercive way, which allows them to decide if they want to try it again and develop their own tastes over time. It’s good to remember that as adults too our eating preferences change daily depending on our mood, etc.
8. “You won’t like this”
I understand the utter desperation when you’re willing your child to eat something, anything. However, outing them in this way won’t help. Keep statements like this under wraps and to yourself.
As a parent or caregiver, you’ve played your part in offering your child food at a time and place that you’ve decided. Allowing your child to eat intuitively, will give them the space to learn to love all foods.
9. “Why are you being so fussy today?”
Labelling a child as a fussy or picky eater can make them more resistant to trying new foods. I understand it’s easier said than done, but the best thing you can do is remove the pressure to eat.
Try and eat together as a family where possible, so they can see you eating and enjoying the same meal (also who’s got time to make multiple meals for each family member that they still may not eat?!). Everybody having the same meal will also minimise the chance of food waste. Don’t forget to remove any distractions such as toys and tablets so the food can be embraced and enjoyed.
As parents remember we are in this for the long game. We have been raised and conditioned with this type of language. But with 3 meals and 2 snacks a day, the opportunities to feed our children come thick and fast. With that in mind, there is time to practice and implement all of the above.
Positive and supportive language at mealtimes can help foster a healthy relationship with food and encourage children to make nutritious choices.
At Two Hands Preschool, our staff eat together with the children, creating a family meal experience. We use this time to talk and laugh together, modelling the table manners and attitudes to food we want to teach our children. If you’d like to come and see this all in action, get in touch to book your tour.
